Memoirs of a confused mind

2007-05-20T22:26:00.001+08:00

freeway

2007-05-20T22:26:00.000+08:00

at the end of a tough race emerges the champion...

2007-05-20T22:24:00.000+08:00

maybe i should change course to dentistry

2007-05-20T22:17:00.001+08:00

new york? no...just a movie set

2007-05-20T22:17:00.000+08:00

universal studios orlando!!!

2007-05-20T22:16:00.000+08:00

come on mr grinch

2007-05-20T22:15:00.000+08:00

living a childhood dream

2007-05-20T22:13:00.000+08:00

i am not gay...spider man is

2007-05-20T22:11:00.000+08:00

freezing cold...stupid iceman

2007-05-20T22:10:00.000+08:00

i dunno wats a turnpike..dont ask me

2007-05-20T22:09:00.001+08:00

beautiful sunset...

2007-05-20T22:08:00.000+08:00

i am captain jack sparrow...

2007-05-20T22:07:00.000+08:00

dont we look alike?he cute i also cute...muhahahah...

2007-05-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

mickey donald pluto chip/dale

2007-05-20T22:05:00.000+08:00

mr potato head

2007-05-20T22:04:00.000+08:00

i look cool dont i...hahha

2007-05-20T22:03:00.000+08:00

downtown disney...so many cute stuff...disneyland soon

2007-05-20T22:02:00.000+08:00

land of the free and fat and home of the brave and lazy

2007-05-20T22:00:00.000+08:00

food art...smiley smile smile

2007-05-20T21:59:00.000+08:00

orlando fire engine

2007-05-20T21:57:00.000+08:00

mcdonalds in downtown disney and a symmetrical pose

2007-05-20T21:55:00.000+08:00

the whole singapore grp(almost) at lake eola where police were arresting a black man

2007-05-20T21:54:00.000+08:00

our dinner....super gigantic of a pizza... in some sleazy looking restaurant

2007-05-20T21:52:00.000+08:00

singaporeans looking at a slingapor si gn in downtown orlando...stupid ben spoil the pic

2007-05-20T21:51:00.000+08:00

railroad crossing...luckily got no train...haha

2007-05-20T21:47:00.000+08:00

freaking cheap levis jeans

2007-05-20T21:46:00.000+08:00

palm trees...alot in orlando

2007-05-20T21:43:00.000+08:00

morning in orlando....

2007-05-20T21:09:00.000+08:00

a long overdue post from orlando...

been here for one week already...

wont bore u pple with words...so here are the pics

at LA airport...transit

a slice of pie...a slice of life

2007-04-17T06:36:00.000+08:00

i like apple pies i really do, slices and slices of goodness

sweet and soft

warm and cosy

if only a slice of life can be just like tt

but sadly its not

wondering how

wondering why

wondering if

wondering but

wondering should

wondering maybe

wondering love

wondering disdain

wondering happiness

wondering sadness

wondering everything

all these wondering makes me hungry for a slice of apple pie...any one?

saints and sinners

2007-03-19T17:32:00.000+08:00

i can't tell the saints from the sinners anymore...

maybe i never could've...

liverpool 0:1Manchester United

2007-03-04T16:25:00.000+08:00

it seems almost unreal. how can it be possible?

14 shots to 4
11 corners to 2
1 red card

yet we won!!!
hahaha

GLORY GLORY MAN UTD!!!

shack out already la

2007-02-28T06:48:00.000+08:00

so tired...

school...

hall...

responsibilities...

really want to just enjoy a life sitting by the beach and sipping a pina colada and just without a care in the world but right not i would settle for being able to sleep as and when i like...as much as i like without guilt

sometimes i feel so alone and naked even when there are so many pple ard me, esp when those i know who really cares arent ard.pple are just so fake sometimes and when u look back on how much u had done for them u just feel so exasperated as to y the world is like tt.sure,look for me when u need the help,but after that u just suddenly disappear...some friends u guys are...pui!

luckily there are those that i am really grateful for...thanks brudders

ken
kow
risshe
ben
brian
and a few others...

and of course u...( u know who u are la)

There is

2007-01-15T11:45:00.001+08:00

There is

2007-01-15T11:45:00.000+08:00

time flies

2007-01-13T22:48:00.000+08:00

i've just realised how time flies the past few years...

looked thru some army photos and the memories just came flooding back like it was yesterday and it was only when i looked at my letter of appointment to be an officer that i realised it has been 3 years since my commissioning...tts so long ago yet it seems like just yeaterday...4 years since bmt but the days of bayonet fighting and platoon sgt soh is still so vivid...

cant believe how 4 years can just pass like that, it seems as though it was in fast forward mode...

how i miss those days...

exams results

2006-12-16T01:54:00.000+08:00

Name : CHEN ZHIHAO
Matric No : U050556E

2006/2007 Sem 1 Examination for ARTS AND SOCIAL SCIENCES 2

Module Code Module Title Grade
GEK1006 Dynamics of Interpersonal Effectiveness B
PS2234 Introduction to Comparative Politics B
PS2237 Introduction to International Relations B-
PS3241 International Politics of Southeast Asia B+
SC2210 Sociology of Popular Culture B

CAP = 3.61

wat can i say?i mite as well make B my favourite alphabet...knn...vasoo u asshole

for one more day

2006-12-13T23:23:00.000+08:00

ever had the feeling that u mite had hurt someone u cherish without your knowledge, someone that u really do care abt but wat u've done had cause them hurt and still they do not show it to u and until the day u realise that u mite had actually hurt them it is too late and the relationship between the 2 of u will never be the same again.

suddenly
there is a barrier where there once wasn't...
deep conversations turn into casual talk...
the distance between the 2 increases...

it could be between a child and a parent...between siblings...friends...lovers...whichever the case, sometimes we do not realised how much we need them until its too late.

wat do u do if u are in such a predicament?when u realise u hurt the other person because of something that mite not be worth it at all in the end...

i dont really know if i am really in such a predicament now...all i know is that i dont want to lose a friend...someone whom i truly hold close to my heart

if u happen to read this and u know who u are...i am sorry

GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED!!!

2006-12-11T10:48:00.000+08:00

ok...so i fulfilled my top 3 things to do after exams last week...mambo on wed walas on friday nite and soccer on sat morning. seriously, 2 jugs and one bottle of beer and 2 hrs of sleep is no good for saturday morning soccer.first game i was panting like some fat NSman(something i will become in a few years) after his 2.4, and we were only playin for 5 mins and all my passes and shooting that day were super off...in the end only managed to score once...apparently i made a bet with ben the nite before when i was high that if i dont score at least 3 goals i woul dhave to buy him lunch...either i was extremely confident of myself or i was extremely high and i think it was the latter...but luckily ben agreed with me that i was high and didnt made me pay for it...hahaha

rest of the day was spent eating and helping shiokie shift out of hall...by the time i reached home i was totally shagged out but oh well cannot rest cause the manchester derby is on...and i have this to say....

MANCHESTER IS RED!!!!

and we go nine points clear at the top but chelsea managed to cut it down to 8 with their 1-1 draw with arsenal..but nevertheless

GLORY GLORY MAN UTD!!!

peng you

2006-12-02T02:48:00.000+08:00

i miss my friends...

kenneth for 6 years since 1st 3 months in jc...

ah kow for 6 six years since he mistook me for a malay who can speak mandarin while playing soccer in jc...

risshe for 6 years from odac who cant seem to stop wiping his face with his hankie...

brian for 6 sixs since j1 as the idiot who irritates the shit out of me...

dewei for 2 years since zoukout 2004...

of course others like...

ben...6 years as well since odac...

alex...6 years since odac and days of singing with crappy voices at the school sports gallery...

darns...exams quickly finish then can meet up to do the following:

1. PLAY SOCCER!!!
2. mambo
3. walas
4. talk cock
5. eat supper
6. late nite drives
7. drink beer/wine/alcohol
8. get emo over girls
9. stay over at kow's hse(haha...long time never go liao)
10.go swimming
11.bitch abt school
12.bitch abt life
13.look at pretty girls
14.talk abt pretty girls
15.hope pretty girls look at us and not because we never zip our pants
16.hope pretty girls talk about us and not because we are staring at them
17.watch movies
18.go overseas(if we have $$$)
19.eat chilli crabs
20.make money

yea...20 things to be done after exams...yes its boring shit but oh well...i am a simple person who happens to be boring as well...aint tt a surprise

fuckers

2006-11-20T19:58:00.000+08:00

sometimes i dont know why i am doing this...

responsibilities has a way of getting at you, there are certain decisions that had to be made but sometimes these decision would likely make alot of pple unhappy. when will these pple grow up and realise that they cant have it their way all the freaking time. these pple just get on my nerves sometimes, the fact that they are living in their own "i want it my way" world just makes my blood boil. you tell them nicely, they ignore you and do it even more, you become harsher they think u are being anal and continue to do the same thing. sometimes i dont really want to play bastard but can pple just realise that there are implications for every action you do.but do these pple understand?i guess not. after all these pple are the pampered since young kind who always got someone to clear the shit they've created for them. so who are the shit clearing party?pple like us dammit.

i dont give a damn already u kids living in your own fairy tale world. either u abide by the rules or dont blame me should i snap.

i'll be okay

2006-11-07T11:58:00.000+08:00

Okay

Swirl 360

She sat me down and took me by the hand
She said I'll try to make this painless if I can
She was sorry and then she began to cry
Couldn't look me in the eye
I said baby let me just save you the time

I can see where this is going
Tears will fall and hearts will break
Loves a game we almost played
So dry your eyes and be on your way
As for me I'll be ok

Well I thought we were that perfect match
It's so hard to say that now without a laugh
There was never ever such a thing
Not as far as I can see
Now that all of love such misery

You can see where this is going
Tears will fall and hearts will break
Loves a game we almost played
So dry your eyes and be on your way
As for me I'll be ok

We gonna be ok

I can see where this is going
Tears will fall and hearts will break
Loves a chance we almost take
So dry your eyes and be on your way
As for me I'll be ok
As for me I'll be ok
As for me I'll be ok

I'll be Ok

I'll be Ok

craving for a biscuit

2006-11-06T10:18:00.000+08:00

remember 3 years ago in brunei when we were on a topo mission in the jungle and we got lost.things started out so promisingly and confidence was high but somehow we ended up lost within the first 4 hrs.the feeling of not knowing where to go and wat to do simply sucked. it comes to a point when the objective is no longer important and all you want is to just get out of it hoping to stumble upon yr checkpoints along the way. there came a point where we were stuck in this valley with no apparent exits and the rain started pouring on our beaten bodies and soul.it was a moment of despair and one of desperation that begs the question of "where do you do when you realised you are going nowhere?"...

present...

same kind of situation but in a very different sense. i thought i knew the path, i thought all i have done was enough but in the end i ended up lost again. the route to your heart is like a winding path which leads to unexpected deadends and they are all over the place. backtracking only ends up in getting even more lost than before and the emotional burden is getting heavier with each passing day. what started out so brightly with thoughts of you and me ended me in that exact same valley, emotionally, i was in 3 years ago, feeling cold and tired with seemingly no more paths to take. how do i unlock and find the rite path to your heart?...

...all hopes seems lost even as our signal sets bail out on us in the thick vegetation.i sat down pondering my fate and wondering if we are going to just rot here when a chocolate biscuit appeared in front of my face..."nah...take" were the words of eric chia kim hock. it may be just a small piece of chocolate biscuit from our combat rations pack but it meant so much at that particular moment. a sudden sense of warmth and hope filled up my heart once again and i took it with gratitude.it was a moment i will never forget. at that exact moment(yes its dramatic but i assure u its all true), someone shouted "eh found a way out liao!" and somehow the rain stopped and sunshine came pouring thru the thick foilage.somehow it was like something wanted us or me at least to learn a lesson but at least we made it out in the end...

where is my biscuit this time?

2006-11-02T19:59:00.000+08:00

STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH MY FEELINGS!!!

a block day

2006-10-29T01:09:00.000+08:00

A block day is finally over!!! It was a great day la though the turn out was quite bad but we managed to do a pretty decent job in doing up the block. kudos to all those who turned up or helped in some way or another. Esp would like to thank the block comm for their help...u guys rock!

anyway it is over,finally an obligation off my shoulders, shit, this is bad ,i am actually looking at these things as obligations now, but guess thats how it is when one gets jaded. how i wish i was attending soccer trg instead,felt super guilty for missing 2 trgs liao.

oh yah...MAN U BEAT BOLTON 4-0!!!eat your words all u who doubt Man U and wayne rooney is back with a hattrick...simply marvellous!

GLORY GLORY MAN UTD!!!!

the meaning

2006-10-24T10:41:00.000+08:00

looking forward and theres simply too many things but i guess optimism has finally decided to drop by in my life. Exams are just around the corner and seriously, i am not ready. IHG will be next, all the trainings and games and then sem 2. Once again another round of exams and its to the US of A i go. Excited, u bet, even rite now when theres still so much uncertainty regarding it(wat if the US embassy thinks i am a north korean spy or something)but one thing is for sure, the change of environment is sure going to be a good thing.

But rite now, still stuck in a moment, going thru the monotony of life as an under-appreciated undergrad trying to make something out so many things going thru my mind.Its important for us to find meaning in wat we do, that is the only thing that will keep us from regretting the decision we made in the beginning by deciding to do that thing. However, finding meaning can be a arduous task but once you found it and you tell yourself its all worth it...it will be all worth it.

anyway, to end off this post...i would just like to say...

Sorry Liverpool fans...we have to kick your ass once again. Hope you had enjoyed your visit to Old Trafford. Thank You!hahahahah

GLORY GLORY MAN UTD!!!

Ah kow united 02...ahhh...the memories....

2006-10-06T17:14:00.000+08:00

Tony(GK)
Ruixiang(CB)
Ah Kow(CB)
Zhimin(LB)
Brian(RB)
Daryl Siew(DM)
Alex(LM)
Ben(RM)
Risshe(AM)
Zhihao(ST)
Siew Kai(ST)

this is ah kow united in 2002...dont know when we will play our next game...hai...its been so so long

Game on!

6 a.m notes of emptiness

2006-10-04T02:09:00.001+08:00

2 years ago...

i was sitting outisde tangs listening to ryan lim talking about the girl he was after in ntu hall 6 over a cup of mcdonald's sundae. he told me all the things he did for the girl but no matter how hard he tried and no matter wat he did, nothing was reciprocated but the girl seemed to gotten closer to another guy somehow.he finally decide to confess his love for that girl and this is the reply he got

"its not enough to be sincere and touch someone's heart...its simply not enough"

his eyes went watery when he told me that and at that point in time i really dont know wat to do except over him my strawberry sundae.

present...

found myself in a exact similar situation as him and those words just kept going over and over and over again in my head.wat is the use sometimes? of doing so much and investing so much effort.been watching too many shows i guess.in shows its always enough to be nice and sincere but come on, in reality thats utter bullcrap.so wat if the other guy is an asshole of a jerk who only talks to girls and spends every other nite with some girl or another. doesnt she sees that when she is not around, he just finds another girl to be with?the answer is a sad fucking no.she sees nothing and i guess this is wat they mean when they say love is fucking blind and i tell u its fucking deaf and fucking retarded as well.waking up at 6am every week just to place something in hope of brightening up her day but wat the fuck la, wats the point at the end of the day i wont be the one she would be talking to,instead she would talk to the other guy.even when she does talk to me all i get are often one word answers. FUCK IT!!!if blind is wat it is then so be it.of he is who u want then so be it,i am fucking sick and fucking tired of waiting.oh i got no time...but u ended up playing badminton with him..."oh we play singles" and i cant even get half an hr to have lunch.over beers and chips i've been warned,she is a CT but i always let my feelings get the better of me but after seeing what i had seen i realised that i should just let go...so be it

hope u are happy

should i stay?

2006-09-29T11:06:00.000+08:00

Should I Stay
By Dreamz FM

Had a drive
Driven by your love
But when you messed around
I lost the drive I found

Thought you needed
Needed someone true
But you changed your mind
Or had I failed you?

Wish you’d been
Careful with my heart
But you tore it apart
And broke an angel’s heart

The kiss was true
Has to end somehow
But I am livin’ proof of what love is about

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

You played me on
Played me like a clown
But I feel for you
Eventhough I’m down

My heart is heavy
Heavy like a rock
But I am so amused
You’re still in my thoughts

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

Oooohh…should I stay?
Should I go?

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I wanna know
Should I stay or should I…?

This time its done
It’ll never feel the same
But we had some good times
Guess it’s sad just the same

I guess the truth
Doesn’t matter somehow
But you were livin’ proof of what love is about…

this song's been going round and round my head for the past few days because the lyrics just reflects so much of wat i am feeling rite now.

anyway prison break rocks man

You

2006-09-16T12:56:00.000+08:00

nothing...

not a word...

not a sound...

hurts much more...

when i'm down...

u were there...

u could see...

what your presence...

means to me...

i waited...

and i thought...

but is it just...

an illusion i've created...

to bring me up and drop me...

like the sky would drop its tears...

your silence did nothing...

to calm my inner fears...

apple pies and candy bars...

just doesn't seem quite enough...

as i waited throught the night...

i won't give up without a fight...

not a word...

not a sound...

good night

like a virgin...kr's dnd

2006-09-11T15:27:00.000+08:00

kr dnd...

the "journey to the west gang"

on the bus...me and "shifu"...hahaha

the master with her 3 disciples...a blur face, a monkey and a smoking pig

this pic is trying to depict iron fan princess fanning everyone away,somehow the pig managed to stay rooted to the grd due to his mass...hehehe

me and serene

east meet west...wolverine and sun wukong in a wu jian dao remake

3 disciples with the high priest of the indian temple

more to come...

Tevez y mascherano van a west ham(Tevez and Mascherano goes to west ham)

2006-09-04T12:43:00.000+08:00

inspired by brian's most recent post

this is a story of 2 argentine football players who left their hometown to ply their trade in the lucrative english premier league. With the knowledge of signing for the biggest club in the world, Manchester United in their mind, this is the conversation take took place when they realised they had actually signed for the wrong club.The english translation is provided for the spanish dialouge.

Tevez & Mascherano: ah. ..we es finalmente aquí en West ham United!!!(ah...we are finally here at Manchester United!!!)

Alan Pardew: Welcome to West Ham!

T&M: usted debe ser señor alex ferguson(you must be sir alex ferguson)

T&M: ¿Dónde está rooney? he estado esperando verlo y dónde está gabbi también? (where is rooney? i've been looking forward to seeing him and where is gabbi as well?)

AP: ???

AP: you are at WEST HAM UNITED NOT MANCHESTER UNITED...we are 2 different clubs

T&M: JODA!!!(FUCK!!!)

T&M: hemos firmado para el club equivocado(we've signed for the wrong club)

Happy And Orgasmic pageant 2006...the guys

2006-08-30T01:07:00.000+08:00

guess now is the time where pageants are happening everywhere and looking at posters of beautiful pple everywhere doesnt make pple like me who are ugly and plain looking feel any better...so here is a pageant of my own tt pays tribute to the everyday pple like me and you...

M1 Ah Kow

a cute and bubbly personality with a heart of gold.a true buddy in every sense of the word.single available and very desperate...hahaha...so girls out there do take note eh...vote for M1 ah kow

M2 Kenneth

Probably the only one who would actually be considered for an actual pageant. However the belly could be a problem during the beach wear part...hahaha.Another true buddy and great friend.respect!cut down on the bahkwas man!vote for M2 kenneth!

M3 Risshe

Mao mao, the hairest of the lot in this pageant, close friend and great buddy as well.u know wat they say abt hairy guys but sorry ladies he is taken.making money is his forte and soon to be featured in some entrepreneurship mag eh...haha...though the belly is a problem still but then again it happens to the best of us.haha
vote for M3 risshe!

M4 Benedick

affectionately known as ben ben...to me at least...haha.anyway,really nice guy and a great great friend, pretty good soccer player as well and yes he is available(i think).funny take on life sometimes but offers sound advice so do vote for him eh...M4 Benedick!

M5 Brian

mr commando here is a irritating piece of shit and can be such an ass sometimes tt u want to strangle him but thats wat makes him even more of a great friend.never one to mia when help or a listening ear is needed. Fortunately for u girls out there...he is taken!hahaha...vote for M5 brian lim!

M6 Hao

nuthin much to say here...no looks no money and no charisma...loser in every sense of the word...but still hoping to find tt special someone...haha...but wat the heck...vote for me as well!M6 Hao!!!

i didn't choose to

2006-08-23T01:06:00.000+08:00

it happened last year and it was a bitter pill to swallow.watching the thing u want badly being taken away from u in front of your very eyes cuts the heart in a way tts beyond pain.worst part of all is that theres no running away and there is no hiding place,u face your loss every day and try to pretend its normal but deep down inside it hurts like hell.as time goes by it seems manageable but not because the pain went away but i am already numb.

this year it seems like its going to happen again,i didnt choose to be part of it but choices is something fate would never give u.and so i am really amazed at how unlucky i can be and how long more i can keep it up,i am really really tired and burnt out already...

cut me some slack

stuck in a moment

2006-08-17T15:28:00.000+08:00

i feel like i have been stuck in the same moment since 2 years plus ago.probably ken and kow and risshe will know wat i am talking about.i've realised alot of my unhappiness stemmed from the fac that i am stuck here, right here in this moment.no matter how crappy happy or cheerful i may look i am hollow on the inside and it had been like tt for a while already i guessed.

time is really something tt travels fast,much faster than light i assure u.days of 17 and 18 seemed like only yesterday and at 22 it seems that i had yet to grow up,i still feel like a 19 year old,think like one as well i supposed.but the sad fact is that reality bites and in a matter of 2 years the full extent of society will be upon me but seriously i dont think i am ready.then again i was never ready for alot things but when they came along i think i did pretty well handling them.i cant sit still for 10 mins and here i am looking at years sitting behind a desk typing into a computer.

sometimes i am dying to just peek into the future to see wat lies ahead for me but was fearful that things might change once i see it.i am not fearful that i see a bad future because i believe i can take it in my stride.wat i fear is that i see something wonderful and because of me seeing it changes and that something wonderful becomes nought.

so it seems i am back at square one, still stuck in this moment i cant get out of...

at least the epl is coming back...

depressed

2006-08-14T01:58:00.000+08:00

depressed

for wat?

2006-08-11T23:19:00.000+08:00

sitting at the lobby a sudden sense of isolation overwhelmed me. Even though there were hundreds of pple walking around and about but it seems like the whole world had left me out.Groups sit and talk among themselves, groups that i dont belong to and fit in at all.It was only then i realised that pple i can talk to are not around, not because they are not there but either they are busy with other things or are just not around anymore.I tried breaking into the groups but all i get is a brickwall response, a shot thru the heart with a poison arrow.For wat am i doing this?wouldnt it be better to be free from all responsibilities and able to fit in.Why carry all the burden and find myself getting brickwall responses.

Invisible among a sea of pple.The fact remains that i am there and alive, yet i feel like i wasnt.

Sure,
i couldnt mingle around
i couldnt be there all the time
i am the one to ask you guys to come down for things u dont wanna come for
i am the one to nag
i am the one to wake you up when u needed sleep most

i am so sick and tired of doing this job in a place where no one appreciates anything.In this world where everything is about glory and about pple who seems more fun.I am the one to break up all the fun and find no pride in anything i do anymore.

i am losing my fucking sanity

save me

phuket memories

2006-07-26T10:44:00.000+08:00

ok..now i am back in hall and that the connection is faster...heres the long overdued entry
more pics from phuket...

we found this point while driving up a "mountain"

idiots...hahaha

personal favourite...

me and ben next to our suzuki caribien

on the cruise to phi phi island...interesting to note that we were the few asian tourists on board

feets

on the cruise back

atv-ing

singapore ah bengs on a thai road in front of a japanese car wearing shirts made in china under a moon that is shared by the whole world...thats wat i call globalization

more examples of globalization

drink of choice for this trip...heineken...unchanged since 1873

2006-07-18T09:35:00.000+08:00

ok...i shall start blogging again after such a long absence...first up some pictures...hahaha

i am back

2006-07-09T11:13:00.000+08:00

I am back!

after arts camp...phuket trip and world cup fever i am back...not that anyone bothers i suppose...haha

with one more camp and one more game of world cup to go...let me just wrap up the past few weeks.

1. world cup fever.fantastic thru and thru.However, its just a sideshow for everyone to join in the football fun. The real football deal begins after the world cup and this would separate the real football fans from the world cup junkies.Yes my friends, the EPL is coming back!GLORY GLORY MAN UTD!!!

2. arts camp.It was over just like that.all the preparations and meetings and all the fun as well.cant believe its so so short.as the aogl of aviva i can say that i am extremely proud and impressed by the way aviva had bonded, so much so that we are the best og.However,its not the best og title that lets me know we did a good job but the fact that the freshies went out to get a cake and presented us with the cake tgt with a song on the last morning that makes it all worthwhile.Thanks aviva!!!

3. Phuket trip.wat can i say...4days of fun in the sun. Suntanning on a cruise,surfing(technically not surfing but wth),jetskiing,atv-ing,snorkelling,go karting,speeding in phuket in a suzuki carbien/toyota vios,getting a 500baht summon for illegal uturn with 8 others in the car,white water rafting,nearly died in the process and water fall jumping.haha...pictures will be up soon.

well...looking forward to union camp and the fwoc but theres still so many things to settle.

life is sad yet hopeful

2006-06-08T23:06:00.000+08:00

life is full of sadness especially when someone so young and in the prime of his/her life had to pass on. Although i dont personally know all these people it just sucks when u have to hear about news like that and makes one wonder when their time is up.
Heard about sheares hall blk a ex blk head,think her name is lena, accident during her grad trip and like i said i dont know her personally or even met her before but still very sad to hear of such news.Just like joan chan who recently lost her fight with cancer and pilot brandon loo who lost his life in a crash a couple of years back.

wat makes it even sadder is the fact that u might have seen that person many times before but never realised who they were until news of their passing reaches you.
just like lena was from sheares blk a just 20 m away from my a blk in kr and that brandon loo actually stayed in the block behind my block in hougang, and i never realised that even after reading the papers abt it for days until i saw so many air force personnels at the wake.

just gotta get this out...life is so fragile and sad yet it is also full of hope and dreams.

world cup 06

2006-06-08T12:21:00.001+08:00

world cup 06
teams i support in order of preference

1. England(CHAMPIONS!!!)

2. Korea(Tae Han Min Gook!!!!)

3. Ghana(kenneth dreamt that they will beat italy so will be betting on them)

teams i hope will crash and burn early

1. ivory coast(cause drogba is there)

2. iran(nuclear shitheads)

3. Japan(historical factors and also i just cant stand the way they look)

world cup 06

2006-06-08T12:21:00.000+08:00

world cup 06
teams i support in order of preference

1. England

2. Korea

3. Ghana(kenneth dreamt that they will beat italy so will be betting on them)

teams i hope will crash and burn early

1. ivory coast(cause drogba is there)

2. iran(nuclear shitheads)

3. Japan(historical factors and also i just cant stand the way they look)

more notable army quotes

2006-05-30T00:50:00.000+08:00

more notable army quotes

1."6 OK!!!GUOFENG RUN RUN RUN!!!"-cher weiliang my buddy in his sleep

2."...eh buddy...(murmurs)....then..(murmurs)..."-eugene siew my other buddy

3."gia...canteen"-jeremy si

4."who here father sell luo han yu?"-msg eric kan

5."eeee yeerrrr"-some medic when he saw my leg wound

6."tou hua yi bai kuai"-ah shi

7."zhihao...this dessert very nice...go get some more from the tonner..."-maj melvin ong

8."tonight mambo...steady"-darryl/darren/edwin

9."am i wery unapproachable?"-albert phoon

10."eh...where is the checkpoint?i remember very clearly it is here...really really"-sufian

notable army quotes

2006-05-29T01:12:00.000+08:00

notable army quotes

1. "whole lot knock it down!!!"-alot of pple

2. "lao ch** by*"-ps soh

3. "go sign 3"-s3

4."Gentlemen!(in a gay manner)..."-LTA kelvin

5."I dont like to air-low...i like pple to wor-len-teer"-albert phoon

6."u treat us like dogs rite!"-ong shuwu

7."xiao shi bie lai fan wo,da shi wo zhuo bu liao zu"-cpt stanley

8."Sir,pls dont let me go DB"-someone

9."watch your front...watch your front"(supposed to say only once)-cher weiliang

10."do u know why u are the best plt?...because i am your ps"-ps soh

11."tough times dont last..."-sufian

12."eh malau..."-1wo lee

13."...either u buy a smaller beret or i make a bee sting your head until it fits the beret"-1wo lee

14."ah shi what number?"-alot of pple in selatar camp

15."Hello...this is plant pc here,plant plt going out for plant trg at tp7...25 men 10 specialist 2 drivers and 1 officer. One 5 tonne and one rover,vehicle numbers MID 12345 and MID 54321."-me

16."i want fan choy and sprite ice...not fried rice hor...spirte ice"-me

talking cock

2006-05-27T20:16:00.000+08:00

ok...

and results are out and though i improved a lil since sem1 i guess i am still a lil disappointed.really think i could have done better...sigh

anyway...its a freaking hot day,got a good tan at the expense of quite a bad heat rash.no not at sentosa but at raffles hall bball court playing soccer...wonder why kr dont have one

injured my right wrist...again

ohh...those who havent caught xmen 3 and intend to do so in the near future,do stay till after the credits and really feel like playing a spoiler here by saying out a impt part of the movie but i shall be nice and not do it...hahaha

countdown...13 days to the world cup

on a bed of nails she makes me wait....and i'll waiting for you

2006-05-27T00:59:00.000+08:00

damn...how i miss you so...i really do

misery is what i feel...and what the west ham players and fans feel

2006-05-14T01:03:00.000+08:00

woke up at 7
took train down to redhill from hougang
everyone late

the best part is...

the nitemare scenario that everyone dreads and finds ridiculous...

looking forward to playing soccer for 2 weeks...

alot of pple...

weather is great(for a while!)...

beautiful day...

and...

NO ONE BROUGHT THE BALL!!!!!!!!

took a cab to queensway to buy one but everyshop is closed so took a cab back to find the rest borrow a ball and play and that there isn't a proper court. some other things pissed me off but i am too lazy to describe wat but just when we started to play...it rains...how wonderful

miserable miserable

then waited for something the whole afternoon and nite but it never came...adding to the misery of the already ridiculously miserable day.

caught the fa cup final on tv and yes yes liverpool won but before u liverpool fans go cocky on me i must still say that the better team lost...come on west ham played wonderful football and never never gave up...true liverpool also didnt gave up and kudos to gerrard but i think every single west ham player deserved the cup while only a few liverpool players deserved the same. seriously...do u think cisse,crouch,morientes deserve the cup?i dont think so...but still kudos to players like gerrard, carragher and riise...u guys showed what football is about,no fancy tricks and stuff but alot of heart...the real joga bonito!
congratulations to both teams!

Roy Keane

2006-05-11T10:53:00.000+08:00

an emotional old trafford bade farewell to a legend 2 days ago as a crowd of 69,951 came to pay respect to the famous number 16 of Manchester United, Roy Keane himself in his testimonial match. Old club United vs new club celtic and it didnt matter who won in the end but that keane had the chance to say thanks to the fans who supported him in his 12 years at United. As he wore the famous number 16 shirt and the captain's armband for United one last time, let us pay tribute as well to the man who had been a true inspiration for Manchester United.

things on my mind which i feel that i should say and i will say and now you know how i feel and i just want to type some more words to make it long

2006-05-02T01:18:00.000+08:00

such glorious emotions
turns out to be such a waste
as life goes thru the motions
as the rest of the country receive their progress package
like did i 3 days ago
i am really wondering about progress on the other side
monetary rewards bear no significance when the heart is empty still
i would gladly trade my $900 progress package for the true true emotion
no matter how painful it might turn out to be
naive?
wishful thinking?
i am not sure
all i know is that it feels so so real and true
presevere i will
to press on i must
cause it is just too true to let go
i feel its right

hahaha...i should look on the bright side
exams are over
but still so many things to do though
shifting out
thinking ahead to next sem already
what modules to take?
union camp
and of course A block
i need a job
anyone got any lobangs?

Double heartbreak over the weekend though
Man Utd lost the title to chelsea after getting a 3 nil whacking
got to give it to chelsea though
they were the better team that day
even more depressing is that
rooney is out for 6 weeks and in doubt for world cup
even if he makes it there and plays
he wont be 100% fit and ready
ENGLAND IS DOOMED
but guess brazil is going to win it anyway
just too much talent on their side
though i am still rooting for the cup to return to england after 40 years
would have supported Singapore
if they actually make it there
they can say its not easy and i shouldn't just be talking
they will say that why not i do something
well
let me play then
let me play in the national team
hahaha
striker
midfielder
defender
goalkeeper
anywhere
just play me!
hahaha

so sad

2006-04-28T00:22:00.000+08:00

just finished my exams today... i went around hall suaning pple and guess provided some words of encouragement to those still in the midst of exams. was feeling kinda happy until i sat down at my comp and starting surfing ard and once again chanced upon the story of joan chan, the 19 year old girl struck with cancer. its like just so freaking sad man. sort of reminded me of the times when i nearly lost my life during army days when i was her age,it was simply too scary to think about it and i really really admire her courage for going through it the way she did, simply deserve the respect of everyone.

i mean, think about it, life is so precious. i was just inches from being shot, metres away from getting knocked by a boat in the head(that was due to my own stupidity) but nothing will ever be as bad as death that comes by sucking the life out of you slowly and agonisingly.sometimes life can be just so f*cking cruel.

sigh...so sad

D-Day +7: The Final Battle

2006-04-27T11:36:00.000+08:00

D-Day + 7
(Final Day)

Reville 1115
Prep stores 1145
Lunch 1230
Prep stores 1300
Orders + Final Briefing 1430
War Gaming 1500
Final Rehearsal 1530
Inspection 1615
Move off 1630
Final Battle 1700
Endex 1900
RTU 1915

no title

2006-04-23T12:54:00.000+08:00

makes one realised there are more important things in life than the things most of us are pursuing now

D-Day +2

2006-04-22T16:47:00.000+08:00

D-Day +2.awoke this morning to prepare for battle once again. not really feeling too good about the battle due to the fatigue and overall lack of preparation. H-Hr was marked to be 0900hrs and we know that this is our toughest battle yet. it is to be a critical battle and would account for our "Combat Advancement Plan" or "CAP" for short. Setting off at o830 hrs, we realised that we had been denied transport into enemy territoy as the general staff decided that it was too risky to go in on vehicles and ordered us to go on foot. There were great discontent among the ranks but we had no choice, and grab all our equipment and set off on foot. However, it was to be a great march as the views along the way was awesome and took some of the load off the mind, especially when we passed by 'ailec city'.

The good sight was not to be as we approach our objective. It gained a reputation for being dark and cold and had an equally fearsome nickname to it--the dungeon. The wintry and smokey conditions made it all the more difficult for us. Our mission is to capture this particular bridge called ps2102 across the as1 river. Then first shot was fired when one of our scout was shot dead by the enemy's sniper and we knew battle had began. However, the fierce battle we expected did not come and we managed to neutralize the enemy without much problems. Even the cold was not an issue for us as we fought with the winter jackets issue by divison s4.

We were once again told to leave the bridge and that another battalion would take over it. However, the news this time is that we would be getting a well-deserved break at the rear, at a old hospital called Kent Ridge Hospital. I guess its time to rest and prepare ourselves for the next battle which we know will be coming very soon...so wish us luck

D-Day + 1

2006-04-22T00:58:00.000+08:00

D-Day was yesterday and the landing on examination beach was a smooth one. We managed to capture objective ea1101 within 2 hours and secured the area for subsequent landings by our troops. At 1400hrs, a briefing was conducted and we were told that we were tasked to capture objective dsc2006 at 0900 hours today. We were also told that the battle was not critical to our war efforts but would greatly aid our troops advancement and it had been labelled as a "S/U" (Strength Undertermined) objective as we do not know the clear strength of the enemy at that location.

We moved out at 0840hrs on D-Day +1 and arrived at objective at 0900hrs. The battle was a fierce one and the enemy was much more aggresive than we had expected. Led by their field marshal, General Hum, they managed to hold us back even though they were outnumbered. We suffered many casualties but in the end we managed to capture the objective and emerged victorious. There was hardly time to rest as another regiment came and took over our position at dsc2006. After our chief of staff heard about our brilliant fight in dsc2006, he decided to use us for a very critical and tricky battle to capture objective ps2102 which we know is being defended by 2 very strong divisions, led by general peter lee and general brad williams.

We will be moving off at 0830hrs on D-Day +2 to capture ps2102. Preparations for the battle had just ended and we had been duly replenished. Due to fatigue and injuries, the regiment is not in the best shape for the battle but we will still do our best.

I guess it is time now to rest so as to prepare for the battle...reville will be at 0700hrs tmr to have one last rehearsal before going into the battle.

Wish us luck!

history...wat story?

2006-04-19T11:36:00.000+08:00

i am not destined to take history

sec1 and sec 2...flunked my history badly

never did history ever again until university...

sem 1...one history module...grade B-...kena sai

sem 2...one history module...hy1101e...1101 module...essay grade..freaking D+...WTH!!!!kena sai, kena watever also kena lah...granted its put of point and i am totally to blame but still....sigh:(

Its not that i really want to do history one given my previous track record in that subject but i got no choice because of the stupid requirement that i have to do a exposure module from each department and so it was between history and philo and i dont really want to read abt aristotle arguing with socrates but now maybe i should...

THUS...

I, U050556e, CHEN ZHIHAO, HEREBY DECLARE THAT I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER TAKE ANOTHER HISTORY MODULE EVER EVER AGAIN(BARRING SPECIAL SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES AND I HAVE REALLY REALLY REALLY NO CHOICE).

guess i am just not the type to learn from the past...sigh

bad bad experiences

2006-04-17T04:13:00.000+08:00

some of the worst experiences of my life so far...(not in any particular order)

breaking up...

rejected by the girl i like...

eating alone...

losing...

failing...

making my mom cry...

doing badly for anything...

watching Man U lose...

having a tummy ache and no toilet in sight...

toilet found but no toilet paper...

raining when i am supposed to go play soccer...

freezing on the top of mount biang in brunei...

digging trenches...

studying for exams...

going hungry...

getting whacked in the b*lls...

slipping of the windsurfing board...

knowing how close i came to dying...thrice...

kena food poisoning while on holiday...

kena heat exhaustion...

beaver venture...

erm...last one for now...

pri4-pri6

2006-04-13T20:09:00.000+08:00

ok...i do not know wat to blog about...damn

9 points...just 9 points

2006-04-01T10:47:00.000+08:00

okok...havent been updating much i know but i have reasons/excuses...or watever u call them

1. all the term papers
2.laziness
3.dance nite
4.laziness
5.more laziness

so i have 5 very good reasons/excuses why i took so long to update my bog. well, at least dance nite is over and glad that both nites went well, even though i can swear that people were laughing at me. i know i cant dance lah but give some encouragement mah...haha.anyway, heres a couple of pics from dance nite(really just a couple)

with all the cha cha dancers.

kr's hot chick and me...omg...hahaha

so thats all i can get so far, the rest of the pictures are in other cameras somewhere. anyway, 3 term papers down and one more to go but its a killa week coming up. 2 presentations, last term paper due and a test on friday and its 20 days to exams. i am so so dead.

other things to de-stress, Man Utd are just 9 points of chelsea. really hope those assholes slip up and we trashed them on the 29th april(exams over by then loh!) and win the title. those blue little bastards need to be taught a lesson and hopefully liverpool will even overtake them for 2nd place if that happens.

ok...time to do my work, will try to update this space more regularly just that i have been typing so much lately i dont feel like typing anymore.

3 down 1 more to go!!!!

2006-03-24T17:35:00.000+08:00

Just finished my second term paper in the space of one week, wondering still y i am typing when i am supposed to let my fingers rest. so its 3 down and 1 more to go and the fact that exams are nearing isnt comforting at all. Its less than one freakin month away.

just a thought...

its so weird to hear someone's voice after not hearing it for so long...just weird...

no use for a title

2006-03-15T19:27:00.000+08:00

the feeling of "there's no permanent friends only permanent interests" comes back to haunt once again.To see a friend drift apart from me within such a short time is really saddening.

once a close friend now reduced to just someone who attends lectures together, no longer a friend, just an acquaintance. once everything to talk about, now words seem to not come at all.

it just so saddens me that friends can be forsaken for better friends. i guess i have been guilty of that myself...i dont know...but really its a very bad thing to do.

drift apart...

sigh...

a little hi will do...

lowest point in uni life so far...school work is a killer, no time for a breather at all...friends too...not thinking anymore....doing things without thinking...this is bad...very bad
makes one reflect upon if wat has been done so far is correct and whether if its on the right track...this feeling is just weird in a very negative way...making me feel very very negative...

life goes on they say...yes it does...but nvm...forget it

1/2 nite cycling 1/2 nite lorrying

2006-03-04T15:14:00.000+08:00

nite cycling is finally over and boy was it a blast, even though i spent 1/2 the time nite lorrying instead of cycling. started well with great company at the back of the group and once we were at our first checkpoint, it is obvious that pple were hungry. orders were quickly made and before long, everyone was tucking into their fave local delights which chris got to try(he esp like the calamari aka sambal sotong).

Personally i ate:

2 chicken wings
7 satays
some sambal sotong
4 tang yuans
some carrot cake
a mouthful of bak chor mee( thanks sin tae)

it seemed to be heading for an excellent nite of food great company and fun as we head towards our second spot point at changi v. However it was not to be...

i realised something was wrong with my chain whenever i travel at a faster speed but since most of the time i was travelling at slow speed at the back it didnt really bother me much, until the part of the journey just outside changi prison when we were going downslope. the speed was fast due to the gradient and as i turned behind to check for vehicles, the stupid chain came loose and i lost control...i panicked and squeezed the wrong brake...the front brakes causing the back pf the bike to flip over along with me.i landed on my wrist which is in very bad shape now...felt a little faint and that was when my nite cycling was over and i began nite lorrying with lorraine,zhengqian, suen chi and adeline...haha

but it was still great fun to push the rest on and make fun of them from the lorry and with great beer at changi v, it was excellent. ended the nite at simoang eating a single cheese prata which lorraine helped to cut up because i only have one usable hand. so thanks lorraine.

ended the whole thing at ecp and a bus ride back to kr...

enjoyed myself tremendously...thanks A blockers!!!

Band of Brothers

2006-02-28T02:41:00.000+08:00

The ones i trust....

the ones i can count on...

may we become the best men at each other's wedding...

may we become god-pa to each other's kids...

may you guys be the ones to read my eulogy when i die...

the ones to stand beside me before i die...

and the ones whom i will forever be grateful to

a tale of prawns, a cup and a broken leg

2006-02-27T19:17:00.000+08:00

its been so long since my last post cause i have been lazy..yes very lazy.

this tale begins on saturday when i realised i overslept and thus missed the forum i was supposed to go for. woke up at 12 plus to meet the guys to visit my hairy brother risshe ho just had an operation to "save his ankle". unfortunately for him, he was transferred from the air con ward with a tv and a hot nurse to a normal ward with fans that dont work and a guy who looked like he was injured from a gang fight next to him.

as you all can see from here we got bored(after reading all his fhms and 8 days) and decided to fool around ith his crutches and and gifts.

we then decided that its actually not a bad idea to take a picture of us fooling around and so still with crutches in hand(i am pretending it is a rifle), we took a picture of (from L to R): brian,myself, risshe(the one who broke his leg),ah kow(the one smelling the broken leg and still looks so happy,kenneth and dewei.

so we decided to we should let him rest with his harem of hot chicks...in the fhms of course.so journey continues to orchard where we were supposed to watch munich but decided not to cause the seats sucks and so we went to orchard library to "study"(ended up sleeping ,reading papers and daydreaming more)

then our hungry stomachs brought us to bugis for steamboat with sebastian, dewei and their friend. where i totally whacked the prawns like theres no tmr...surprised i didnt get a bad tummy ache in the end.

oh...anyway...

MAN UTD IS THE CARLING CUP CHAMPIONS 2006!!!!

why clash?!!!

2006-02-16T19:20:00.000+08:00

and so its another valentine's day week with all the heart shapes and all the flowers and all the couples on the streets. love is definitely in the air but somehow i am not able to breathe it no matter how deep the breaths i am taking. i wont say there is no big deal about it and that i cant be bothered with it as it is stupid because i am bothered by it. it is not a stupid day at all i guess but just that it is a day i've been longing to spend breathing in love thats in the air...must smell really good i guess.

just realised that production clashes with the fa cup tie between Man U and liverpool and i am really tempted not to go for production.

argh...i need to play soccer soon...legs super itchy...hmm...or is that because of the mosquitos?

a fool

2006-02-12T12:36:00.000+08:00

kow brought me into realising something last nite when i told him abt A block's pink and blue. He told me that i was already a victim of the biggest and most cruel prank(if u could call it that) even before term started which ended 2 weeks into the semester.I am still feeling the effects now....dammit.

hoo yah!

2006-02-06T12:26:00.000+08:00

life is a warzone...

u carry so much hope and expectations but they just weigh u down...just like yr sbo and extra magazines

every day is unexpected in life...just like every corner is unexpected in a war...

everyone else seems to be getting doing better than you are...just like how everyone's ground seems softer compared to yours when digging a firetrench...

everytime kena smoked by other pple...just like how the enemy everytime smoke you...

friends are lifesavers...just like how friends are lifesavers...

u wait so long for a mad rush in your life...just like waiting so long to rush in the warzone

things u learn in school is totally different from things in the world...just like how things learnt in boot camp is very different from how things are in the warzone...

cannot take it

2006-02-03T18:13:00.000+08:00

wah lau eh!!!!!

where got pple knock in picket like that one??!!!!disgrace to engineers sia!!!!!!goes to show that saf training ah guas nowadays!

http://www.youtube.com/w/IPC-2?v=HZCNkuYN_eg&search=platoon

out of point post

2006-02-01T00:57:00.000+08:00

remember the movie my sassy girl?

kinda forgot how wonderful it was until the other day when i was so bored at home that i found the vcd of the movie and viewed it once again.

the one scene that captivated me the most was the one where the male lead walked into a lecture theatre full of girls, walked down the centre staircase with a rose in his hand and gave it to the female lead who is playing canon in d on the piano on stage.

i dont know why this scene just captivated me so much but deep inside i know that i would love to do re-enact that scene and giving the rose of my heart to the girl of my dreams.i know its far fetched and stuff but i guess it is a romantic fantasy.one that even captured the heart of a guy.

for once then,i hope all weird looks and funny stares will stop and that time might stop for the both of us,that the whole place would remain silent as i give the rose to her.one problem though,i am still waiting for "her" to appear.

GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED!!!

2006-01-23T16:12:00.000+08:00

i went for a shower before my lesson today and discovered that the tanline on my feet is freaking obvious.evidence of how bloody hot it was last saturday when we went to play soccer at rp.i played like shit and got injured at numerous places after colliding with numerous fatties who were in my way.left the place with a busted ankle,busted knee,busted wrists and a bad bad sun burn thats already peeling.

gonna play soccer again this sat,chinese new year eve.cant wait.hope i can play better.

oh yah...one last thing...

MAN U BEAT LIVERPOOL 1-0...SORRY BUT WE WON...

HAHAHAHA

HAHAHA

HAHA

the world i know

2006-01-23T02:32:00.000+08:00

i dont know wat to make of this weekend.to sum it all up,it was one of disappointments and feeling pissed off.

friends disappoint.appreciate anything thats done?no.not even a sorry.not even a thank you.

pple disappoint.giving hope and breaking it,shattering the heart to pieces.

at a all time low at this point of time.so many things going on.i try to be as good and as nice as i can be and i havent lost my temper for a long time but i did so yesterday.lashing out at my good friend in front of our friends,his friends and whoever else there is.luckily i managed to calm myself down before things get out of hand.i dunno how long i can keep my temper in check if all these things keep going on.i am just pissed off,why the hell must things turn out this way?why must the email be sent?why must it rain?why must i call u along?why isnt 2 guys mamboing enough?why?why?why?

sorry my entries lately are abit on the depressing end of the spectrum of emotions but i cant help it.i am in a bad mood and feeling totally jaded about everything.if i happen to scold anyone or just piss u off the next few days please forgive me and hope u can understand.

what's the story morning glory?

2006-01-17T12:38:00.000+08:00

and so its over

after being drawn in, being given hope and being disappointed, its finally over. i have alot to say if i were to speak, but i'll just keep most of them to myself.

its actually kinda liberating in a way. no need to hope no need to "see how things go". but in the end the fact remains that i was the fool, a hopeless fool. foolish enough to be drawn in and gotten trapped in the quicksand of emotions.

PUI!!!!

as i spit out the last grains of sand still in my mouth, i feel better but still in need of a good clean up. an oasis would be nice. an oasis to jump in and cleanse my sandy body cause no matter how hard i wipe and how hard i swipe, those itsy bitsy grains between your toes and in your hair will remain until a thorough wash. However, i dont see any oasis anywhere near. I am alrite, irritated by the sand more and more and wonder how did i ever see any goodness in jumping into the quciksand. i was warned,"hey man...be careful,so quicksands may look like an oasis" but i guess like any average male, warnings are just something thats in one ear and out the other. so as i move on to look for my oasis(not the one coming to perform in singapore in feb), i hope i do not encounter any more quicksands.

Friday the 13th

2006-01-13T09:18:00.000+08:00

funny how things turn out...

i think i am not feeling better as i had hoped and so i can keep hoping...

cold cold weather...

adding to the misery...

of having to deal with feelings are had already turned cold...

everything seems not to be going well for me...

fan is down...

umbrella is officially screwed when i need it most...

tutorials registration isn't going well...

maybe its a curse...

maybe its just that i am plain unlucky...

to be in this room...

to be in this module...

to be stuck in this climate...

to have met you...

so on this friday the 13th...

i hope i do not get anymore unlucky than i already am...

...

a tribute to phillip neville

2006-01-11T23:35:00.000+08:00

i guess the older a person is, the wiser he becomes too. i have been too blinded by the feelings that i havent really given much thought to what the consequences will be and how things might turn out. somehow,the words from that wiser person just made sense immediately and i can already see the blindfold comin off.though not yet entirely but i guess it starting to come off is already a good thing and hopefully it wont go back on again.

phillip neville.the former manchester united player who came thru the youth system in man u.born and bred in manchester.never the most skilful of players in the squad but always reliable when called upon and sadly,never a regular in the first team.when the first team gets hit by injuries and he is called upon to do the job,he always do it with 100% effort.yes,he made some stupid mistakes before but then again,who doesnt?hailed by the media and by the fans alike when performing heroics as a left back/centre back/right back/centre mid/left mid.but when the first teamers return from their injuries,he is back on the bench...almost forgotten.i feel sad for the player sometimes,especially for players like phil neville because i know for them its not so much about the big bucks and glamour but to be able to play for the club they love.so as the first team gets stronger,he becomes a forgotten figure and eventually makes a move to everton.

guess i can really empathise with him.called upon and really believed in making it and finally able to get that elusive thing but i guess just like him,the first team is back and i am just another benchwarmer.it doesnt matter how much i enjoyed wat i was doing like phil did,sometimes i guess its time to move on and move on i hope i will be able to.

haha..guess i can relate anything to football because it is still my only true love in my live.thats sad huh.for wat am i doing all these for?just like phil...for wat is he training so hard for when he knows the result will be a place on the bench.happy for him that he made the move to everton.

when will my everton come?

feeling fucked

2006-01-09T17:16:00.000+08:00

i feel fucked.havent been feeling fucked for some time but this time i just feel so fucked.things on my mind are kinda affecting me and with the new sem already upon me i'd better sort things out quickly.

i guess normally when i am fucked i dont really show it cause i dont want pple to know i am fucked-up.i just go on smiling and cracking my lame jokes and eating my chow and oogling at pretty girls but who the hell am i lying to cause when i am fucked,the jokes are stupid(somehow thats normal),the chow are tasteless and the pretty girls i am oogling at dont seem that pretty somehow but i still do so in order to make myself feel less fucked...to sort things out.i guess its just my way of running away from this reality of mine.

speaking to ah kow the other day.the only guy within our grp of four who have yet to be attached(though he's been close and was fucked too).we spent alot of times talking about our love life or rather the lack of it(kinda neglected my friends when i was attached but now i guess i'd know better) after my breakup in april of 04 and he pointed out that it was not too long ago that i said that i had come to terms with singlehood and how i said i was enjoying every minute of it.no one to be responsible to,no one to be committed to,to be able to lead a free and easy life.i pondered for a moment of his words which were spot on but managed to come up with this reply.

"her appearance in my life has made me long for a relationship once more..."

we both fell silent for a while and kept it that way while waiting for ken to try on his clothes.we look at the clothes on the racks or rather pretend to look at them or maybe its just me but i am pretty sure he has something of the same agenda on his mind as well.

i guess thats why i am fucked because the feeling of longing is just fucked up.like knowing that something is there for you to get but no matter how much u try to get it,the ball is not in your court.
and i know that i am fucked because the ball is either punctured or i am having diarrohoa from eating too many tasteless stuff and having to be contented with clearing my bowels while others are playing ball outside.

currently reading this book called "jarhead".its about the life of a marine or jarhead in the USMC(United States Marines Corp)thru the eyes of a former marine and it contains many nice lines to put down as a worthy msn nick but this one just made me sit up and take attention.its about his friend from one of his first units and the girl he has back home.

"...nothing mattered to him in the world except loving his girl......i want to love like that"

shit!why i am writing this?omg!now i am truly fucked!

what the hell...my food better start tasting better soon

we are one...marching on...we are the young defenders of this country...moving on we believe..that we can achieve...so let us serve our home Singapore

2006-01-07T03:33:00.000+08:00

alot of people have been asking me why i am so into my NS life and why do i keep talking about it.

well,the answer is simple,i am a military junkie by heart.

yes,i do find life serving national service a tad boring and sian sometimes and i admit that i always have the words "ORD LOH!" on my lips but i do feel a deep sense of satisfaction and pride having done national service and serving in the military because i am a military junkie by heart.

why am i one?its because my daddy was a soldier and since a very young age i have been listening to his stories about his military career.his adventures with the elephant and how one cant eat burnt rice when wounded,if not the bleeding would not stop(not scientifically proven!) are just some of the many stories he shared with me.It deeply inspired me to become a soldier.i love to play with guns and rifles but only the wooden flat type which my dad makes for me instead of the toys that make the "tatata" sounds but it was still fun nonetheless with me terrorising any visitors to the house with my "weapon".

i decided to join the ncc in sec sch as it is military based.i was actually lured into it as the teacher in charge came and talked to us about it and the words "you will get to shoot a real rifle" just proved to tempting to resist.i only found out after i joined that one can only touch the weapon once a year but nonetheless,i had fun during my 4 years as a ncc cadet.it was actually the best times of my life when i was a ncc cadet.the camaraderie forged was the best one can ever ask for.i remember the days when we would be doing push ups under the hot afternoon sun on the blistering road,the countless times when i would have sweat in my eyes but not dare to move to clear it.it was bloody painful and irritating but somehow the mentality and attitude of everyone then was just great as we think about the rest of the platoon first instead of ourselves.

however,at the end of secondary school life,i have to move on but the experience in ncc only convince me further that the army is meant for me.

jc saw me having relatively little contact with the military.however,life in the military also came closer than ever before in jc and before i could say sedia i was enlisted for national service.

well...ns days are just ns days...enjoyed myself tremendously and i shall not talk about it here because its just 2 long too long to talk about.so sebastian,u want stories,u have to come and ask me yourself but dont worry,i will always remember you as my "twin brother" in bmt...hahaha.

however,it was in the army too that i saw the ugly side of it.a lot of wayang-ing and no action.men that are supposed to be defending the nation acting like they need the nation to defend them.people in the service just for the perks and not for the pride and joy of being a soldier.i really dont know how many of these generals and colonels will grab a weapon and fight with their men when a war breaks out or will they grab their suitcase and run to another country.all these left me very disillusioned with our army and the passion to become a soldier faded with every new day that passes by.

but till this day,i am still a militart person by heart.i dig war movies and great battle scenes.my favourite movie would be blackhawk down(though its american propaganda).

now u know why i keep talking about the army and my ns life...so pls stop asking me why ok!

cant believe its been 21 years already

2006-01-05T01:01:00.000+08:00

its 1.01 am on a thursday morning and i am listening to some matchbox 20. i was laying on my bed 5 mins ago with many thoughts running through my mind and i had a sudden urge to just blog it all down.so i sat down in front of my comp and started on some deep stuff but found myself deleting everything away after just 2 lines before deciding on this. it has been an interesting life for me so far.only child to my parents and borned into a not so well off middle class family,i realised early on that i can't have everything that other kids have.i cant have that pencil case with a 101 compartments,that soccer ball that would make me popular in school or that nice watch that has a million functions.life was simple and life was alrite and although i have asked why and cried over toys that i didnt have,i never blamed my parents before because i guess i knew deep down inside that i don't really need it.

in primary school i was never a obedient kid.i am a average student and my grades are also just kinda average.i love to talk and i often gotten punished for it.loved my maths until alphabets started to appear in maths and in pri 4 i landed myself in the class of a disciplinarian of a teacher and that began 3 years of hell for me.lack of effort and motivation often meant that my homework would pile up and doing homework till the wee hours of the morning became a common occurence for me.as a 10 year old, i couldnt understand why,i began hating life and i began hating school.i began to play truant and on one fine monday morning,i got the worst whacking of my life from my father.one that left me with scars for weeks and one that saw me literally being dragged out of my bed,to the car ,dragged out of the car and to the classroom,still being whacked and in front of all my classmates.i hated my parents then for putting me thru so much pain.i kept asking why cant they see that i am just not fucking school material and why must they force me thru this.now,i thank my dad for whacking me the way he did that day and dragging me to school.i appreciate that dad.that was also the last time he whacked me.

i went to secondary school and i became slightly more motivated to study but my playfulness still got the better of me.as a result,i screwed up my results.but i just couldnt feel guilt or remorse until my teacher wanted to see my mom.i remembered the look on my mom's face when mrs lee passed her my report book...class position:39/39. mom didnt say much after that but i knew that she was hurt and deeply disappointed with her only son and all she said to me was that my future is mine and mine alone and no one else can shape it for me.that was then i realised i cannot bear to see my mom like that again.sec 3 onwards i decided to buck up,however,due to bad foundation i still cant do my maths and had to drop amaths.things began to pick up from then on and the appearance of a few really caring and dedicated teachers just made it better.thank you miss tan and thank you miss choy and thank you mr chia.i will always remember u guys.thank you mom.

during that 4 years in secondary school,i found myself wanting to know more girls but since i came from a all boys school it was pretty difficult.somehow,a few of my friends always managed to pick up girls from god knows where.they tell me the trick is to sit at hougang mall food court and approach the girl u fancy and just make small talk and success rate is at 70%.deep down inside i wanted to do so,but i am just too bloody shy to do so and thus,i have never tried wat my friends taught me.the introduction of irc to me was thus a god send.hi...intro pls? became my tagline for 2 years and i guess i was alot comfortable talking to girls behind a screen but i must claarify that i have never provided any false information about myself.come to think of it now,i guess it was pretty silly and dumb but back then,as talkative as i maybe,the moment u put a girl in front of me i will be tongue tied and will be hoping the earth swallow me up.so i went thru my secondary school days without knowing alot of girls but still enjoyed my days in a all boys school.playing soccer and magic cards.

i guess i am tired right now...will continue this life story another time

Gong Xi Fa Cai!!!...shit...wrong new year

2006-01-03T09:57:00.000+08:00

so...

we are in 2006,a new year,a new beginning for all.kinda sucky though cause school starting and all but still wat the heck.

was at china one in clarke quay on new year's eve and was it a great party.great booze,great band,great dj,even greater friends but spoilt by kinda expensive and not so nice food.

and so..after all these...

2 pints of erdinger
2 glasses of wine
1 waterfall
1 god-knows-wat-it-is shooter that literally burnt my tongue and throat because my waterfall didnt light up
2 asahis

the party truly began.we sang like nobody's business and we danced like nobody's business even though its not a club.who the hell needs mos and their freaking long queue why u got china one and great friends.guess those pple at mos just dont see the point that its not good to start the new year queueing up.also,buoyed by the fact that Man U thrashed bolton 4-1,the party seemed to have more purpose too.

the usual thrash talking and crap off loading came fast and furious.laughter and thigh slapping was the order of the night.photographs were taken and i look stupid in some of them...ok...all of them and just wanna thank mr dj for dishing out so many mambo tunes that we didnt regret not going to mambo jambo at expo.

and when we left,at 330,pple are still trying to get into mos...stupid idiots i think...give it up!sashayed our butts down to liang court macs and boy ws it crowded but we managed to get a seat and i had my usual sausage mcmuffin with egg meal for breakfast at 330.haha.the night ended on kinda a lousy mood cause we couldnt get a freaking cab and it was only at 530 that we got one after walking all the way from clarke quay to city hall.

in the end,it was a great night which i enjoyed alot.one of the best nye i've ever had(the best was still the one at suntec fountain man).so just wanna thank ah kow,ken,risshe,audrey and dewei for making it such a wonderful night.u guys rock!!!

anyway,spent the whole of new year's day rotting and sleeping at home.caught a few shows on tv but that was pretty much all i did.haha.then slept early for my dental appointment at 9 the next morning.so i woke up at 830,made my way down to the clinic at 850 for the nurse to tell me that they screwed up my appointment %$#@%*(^(%#@ .so i rushed home for my soccer at 10 and realised i have no shoes to play with(all in hall).thus called kow and thankfully he managed to find one thats my size(thanks bro).so reached bedok at 10 and ate carrot cake and drank soya bean before makin our way to the court.so i played soccer at a pee-contaminated(asshole!use a toilet) court with my friends...their friends...friends of their friends...and some neighbourhood kids.it was enjoyable, the simple life that i used to have last time but due to time constraints nowadays,its hard to arrange for one.

ok...so i rushed back to hall after soccer to bath and changed and met up with jess who just got back from aust.ate kfc for lunch(something i craved for for damn long already) and watched narnia had dinner and came back to hall after that.she gave me this straw from aust that transform normal milk to chocolate milk when u drink it.its basically a straw with chocolate balls inside and u just have to put it in milk and drink and u get chocolate milk in your mouth.pretty cool huh.

anyway...ended the day playing need for speed with jingx in mf's room and woke up to bid and realised i cant bid cause its still not open for gems and breadths.so here i am blogging.

happy new year pple!

Man U will win the premiership!!!!!!!!!!!!!....i hope

2005-12-30T16:43:00.000+08:00

so...we have come to the end of another year

2005...let me take a look back

2 major things happened this year...leaving the army and entering the university

yes army, the day that i thought would never come finally came on the 18th of march this year.so i end of my full time national service on a rather quiet way.no big assignments and no big exercises but just missed out on my chance to go for operation flying eagle after volunteering to go.so just spent my time playing soccer and eating my health away.

and soon after ord,i got my driver's licence

went to bangkok the next day with the guys

worked at i2r for 2months and worked as a adventure camp instructor to 15 year old girls...hahaha

went for 3 orientation camps and attended fwoc

started school and started struggling

and soon...before i even know it...the year is gonna be over

terrorists still terrorise...

the earth will still quake...

and life will go on in 2006 as in 2005...

dont know wat i am talking about here also...just wanna talk some cock

shack

2005-12-27T22:34:00.000+08:00

so its the end of soccer ihg for kr as we crash out in the semi finals 4-0 to temasek hall.no foul play or match fixing, they were clearly the better team and they deserved to win the game.thye showed more hunger and more desire and as the match was effectively over by half time when we were 2-0 down.

in the movies, the captain will give an inspiring half time talk and everyone will feel something for the team,everyone will then go all out for the second half like demons possessed and scoring 3 goals in the last 10 mins for dramatic purposes driving their fans wild and the opponents into disbelief...

however,this is not the movies.the half time talk was well...pretty much technical...no time really for inspiring stuff.play resumed and no one got possessed but instead got tired and conceded another 2 goals.

but wat was really valuable was the way that how each felt they had a duty to the team and to the hall and that everyone is part of the team and the family of kr and even though i did not play at all again in tis game.the disappointment just fades away when u realise that u are part of the team even though u are not playing.u are still able to contribute in some way or another and i feel that is the real important thing i have learnt.

and so as soccer ends for now,kinda looking forward to things...hopefully can do better next sem.....