An abstract from my friendster testimonials
".lEoNg,
May 08, 2004 11:55
I dont understand Zhihao. He doesnt reply when i call him Zhihao, but when i call him loser, he replies, almost as if he's happy i called him that. Weirdo"
I have been given many nicknames before in my life. Cant really remember wat they called me in primary school. But i was called ***(cannot say) and wa-na-han in secondary school. I am not really one of those that would break down and cry(boo hoo hoo) when pple called me by those names. In fact, I gladly accepted those names because they gave me a sense of identity. Soon nobody in school called me by my real name maybe except the teachers but i really didn't mind. These names were often given out of zest when being teased and somehow they were stuck on me like superglue while the nicknames for other people were like those post-its labels that couldn't stick for like 10 mins.
And so i was stuck with it for four years and when i finally left secondary school and went to jc, my friends there called me by my real name for the first time in a long long time. It took some getting used to but soon, the superglue on my alias finally lost its superpowers.
1st 3 mths came and went, a wonderful experience, and soon the real term started and i met llk.
Didn't like his face the first time i met him, looked like a big-mac, but somehow we became the best buddies in class soon after(i have a knack of becoming good friends with people whose faces i didn't like initially). Somehow or rather, there was this new term going around the jc students in singapore then, and its "loser". Like if u did something silly, or if u made a fool of yrself, then you will be labelled a loser.
And...
Somehow or rather, llk started calling me a loser. I didn't really give a sh*t then because we called each other losers all the time. People like alex is one, i call ah kow and ken losers some times. However, it was just something that was for the moment, and we go back to calling alex, alex after that. Calling him a loser when we need to(which is pretty often by the way). But somehow llk didn't get the point tt you are not supposed to use that all the time and thus, another nickname got stuck onto me with superglue. (Thankfully llk is the only one that calls me by that)
I began to wonder wat have i lost to be branded a loser for so long. Wat makes a loser loser and a winner winner in life? Who decides who is the loser and who s the winner in life??
Life is not a football game where the team who scores the most goals or wears a woolly hat wins. It is much much more complicated than that. I admit that i am ugly, don't have much money, don't have a car, don't have a girlfriend, don't have a dog, don't have a big house, don't have any talents and the list goes on. So is it that if u reach a certain numbers of don't haves then you are a loser? How about haves?i have wonderful loving parents, have great friends, have memories of a sweet sweet relationship, have a place in university, have a healthy body and the list goes on. Aren't those enough to neutralize the don't have and justify my visa out of loserland?
Or maybe...
just maybe, loserisitis( a condition of how loser u are) isn't determined by wat u have won or lost or wat u have or don't have. Loser could be just a term given as a testament to your character. So, the more flaws you have, the more serious loserisitis becomes.
Ok...lets see...
yes, i have alot of flaws, i have a short temper, i am lazy, i eat alot, i am vain and the list shall go on and on and on.
But who doesn't have that much flaws?...Nobody i would guess.
Though it may not be the same flaws but they could be other flaws because in the list of flaws, there are infinity + 1 number of flaws but how come i don't see much people in loserland?
Ahhh...maybe because there are many people does belong to loserland due to their flaws but they are also the ones that have the big cars, big money, big boobs girlfriends, daddy who r some tycoon and they buy their way out of loserland. They pay the corrupted administration of loserland an obscence sum of money and migrate to winnerland when their rightful place is among the losers because they have the most flaws but like they say, money makes the world go round and people like me who have flaws but no money gets to stay in loserland.
So i guess llk is right then, I am a loser, not by choice and certainly not proud of it. However, at least i can claim that i was honest about it and man enough to admit i am one. guess my loserisitis isn't that serious after all and hope to see more and more people visiting loserland. Tourism is our biggest industry because everyday people are being labelled as a loser for a while and then they recover from it while us citizens are labelled losers all the time, thanks to people like llk.
P.S. My sec sch friends do still call me by the alias in the 1st para, and don't ask me who or wat wa-na-han is, cause i have no idea myself.
posted by haoz @ 4/15/2005 10:57:00 AM
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