Ironies of Life...sh*t happens when...
1.u got a date with the girl of your dreams.u spend 2hrs grooming yrself and putting on yr best clothes.On yr way to meet her, u feel a rumble in yr stomach and the crap is fast heading towards south park.u search high and low for a toilet but u just couldn't find one.Just before the sh*t hits yr pants, u find a toilet and take the best ever crap u ever had in yr whole life and realised there is no toilet paper.
2.u got a date with the girl of your dreams.u spend 2hrs grooming yrself and putting on yr best clothes.On yr way to meet her, u feel a rumble in yr stomach and the crap is fast heading towards south park.u search high and low for a toilet but u just couldn't find one.u shit in your pants.
3.U have trained hard for many months for the upcoming canoeing competition.u can feel the glory so close to you and the competition is only 2 weeks away. u break your hand playing soccer.
4.Its 5pm on a saturday afternoon,u just booked out from camp wearing long sleeve shirt, business pants and leather shoes. U r late in meeting your gf and she is nagging thru sms. Its raining cats and dogs and u r drenched from walking to the bus stop.U tell the guys on the bus yr plight and the need to get a cab fast once yr reach the main road.The bus stops,u see a cab, one of the guys who was listening to u run past u, got the cab and waved goodbye....it is still raining.
5.U r released from prison after serving 20 yrs for a crime u did not commit. You stand outside the gates of changi prison breathing in the freshness of freedom.u get knocked down by a car and die.
6.u get struck by lightning.
7.U crash your new car the first time drive it.
8.Yr new house burns down the first day u moved in.
9.The girl of yr dream is a lesbian.
10.The guy of yr dreams is a gay.
11.U r leading 1-0 since the sixth minute in the european cup final and its into injury time of 3 mins. yr opponent scores 2 goals in that 3 mins and u lose.
12.U slide in for an open goal, miss,u hit the post and yr shin splits open.
13.u organised a football match between yr jc soccer khakis.u waited for the day for a long long time already.it arrives and the weather is perfect, everyone is on time and everyone is raring to go. Nobody brought the ball.
14.U have been out injured for months and finally u make yr comeback tonight, in the starting 11 no less.U play for 20 mins,got injured again and will be out for another few weeks.
15.U choke on beancurd and suffocate.
16.The girl/guy of yr dreams fall for yr best friend.
17.The girl/guy of yr dreams fall for yr worst enemy.
18.Singapore wins the world cup.
19.u cleaned yr weapon all night before the battle.u go into battle full of confidence, u target an enemy soldier and u take aim. u got him locked in yr sight and feels that he is so dead. U squeeze the trigger and the round got jammed.it leads to a chamber explosion and it blows up yr face.
20.u come from a military family.u started wearing green since 2 yrs old.U join the ncc as a preview to NS and become a top ncc cadet.u dream of becoming a commmando.u get posted to the police force and cycle around the neighbourhood.
21.U r 1hr away from going back to camp after a 3 day outfield exercise. Everything had gone smoothly and without much problems. u r operating a boat and u drop into the water while doing something stupid, losing yr phone and nearly yr life in the process.
22.u step on a landmine.
23.u r leading yr platoon attacking a hill, the battle seemed won but u want to win in style,loud with fireworks. u throw a grenade up, it rolls down and kills u.
24.u hear a enemy vehicle coming, u jump into the bushes to take cover.u landed on dog poo.
25.u r lost,tired,wet,cold,hungry and frustrated on a mountain in brunei.u drop yr left boot into a rabbit hole.
26.u get killed by friendly fire.
27.u threw the pin and dropped the grenade.
28.u play soccer for the first time in yr life and u got whacked in the b*lls.
29.yr number is the top prize in the 4D draw.yr wife/husband/friend forgot to buy the number.
30.u scrimp and u save so that u can bring yr family on a holiday cruise for the first time in yr family history. The name of yr cruise is the "Titanic".
31.u meet denise keller for the first time and pronounce yr favourite band as de-pa-chey mode.
32.u didn't zip up the whole day.
33.the kid u used to bully in school becomes yr boss.
34.u r finishing the report which u have worked on for 2 whole days never saving it once.a power failure occurs.
35.u discover yr son of 15yrs is not yours.
36.u r walking with a group of friends, the bird chooses to crap on u.
37.u discover yr daughter's secret life as a porn star.
38.u fall asleep in the bathtub and drowns.
39.u r pitching in a baseball game and the batter hits the ball back straight into yr face.
40.u just brought a wrx and eager to speed but discover a kid in the neighbourhood cycling faster than yr car is going(due to the traffic lights).
41.the sunny weather starts to rain the moment u step out of the building.
42.u forgot to pack underwear for a camping trip.
43.u walked into the wrong toilet full of people inside.
44.u have yr licence for less than a month and u get into an accident which is not yr fault.
45.u r playing soccer during pe and u shoot hard,very hard.the ball hits the girl of yr dreams in the face.
46.yr parachute fails.
47.yr spare too.
48.yr bungee cord breaks.
49.yr bungee cord is too long.
50.Your name is Chen Zhihao and your birthdate is the 19th of November 1984.
posted by haoz @ 4/21/2005 08:35:00 AM
1 Comments:
why is no.50 shit or irony of life?
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