Welcome back people to "tuesdays with Haoz". Its been a week, along week I guess and hope at least some people are looking forward to today's column, well at least I am. Some things happened and some things did not last night which nearly prompted me to chnage today's topic but I think I will stick to it still while it is still fresh in my mind. So here is the second chapter of "tuesdays with Haoz"...Enjoy...
"tuesdays with Haoz" Chapter 2: Soldier!
"tuesdays with Haoz" Chapter 2: Soldier!
Since the implementation of the Enlistment Act of 1967( I think). Many of the male population here in Singapore have gone thru a rite of passage the ministers call 'National Service' or 'NS" for short. Most of us will go to serve in the SAF ( which has many affectionate names given to it e.g. 'Serve And F*ck-off' ), some will go to become policemen and some will end up in the civil defence. So after 'A' Levels, my cohort of boys then with varying hairstyles and colour were packed off to different places to be trained as soldiers, to become a lean mean killing machine. The journey would last for 2 yrs and 2mths and while we suffered in there, the girls in our cohort would have gone onto university and have a 2 years head start ahead of us.
And so I began my journey on a tuesday morning more than 2yrs back, on the 21st of January 2003, a tuesday very much like today, bright sunny morning and a slight breeze in the air. Already, I am counting down to a day that's 788 days away, and I believe I am not alone in doing that. So on a island off the north-eastern coast of Singapore, I bid farewell to my parents and my then girlfriend and embarked on a rollercoaster ride that would have a huge impact on my life because of some of the experiences and lessons which I went thru and thus would like to share it with everyone.
"Here we go..oo..oooooo, Here we go..oo..oooooo, day and night while we're sleeping, (Fill in unit or formation here) warriors come up creeping all around, round round, HERE WE GO!"
1. Advertisements on the MRT and buses - An almost perfectly opposite reflection of the real army.
Many of you must have seen the many advertisement the ministry of defence have put up all over Singapore. 'Not for fame or fortune' or 'Commanding respect, respecting command' and my personel favourite, ' The mud on my face is soil, our soil'. They never fail to crack me up whenever I see them and while I see many other people look at them in admiration (schoolgirls, schoolboys ,JC punks, ah gong and ah ma) I also see many others that gives a knowing smirk like me when they see the adverts and I know they are also the so called sons of Singapore. This is because we know that the adverts are so far away form the truth
and the truth as we know it is listed below.
a. Ad: Most of the people in the adverts look strong and fit and muscular, full of passion and aggression and a willing heart to defend the nation.
Truth: Most of the people have a slight or visible tummy, grimaces at the thought of a run, sleep at every possible opportunity available. Report sick for various ailments when training is scheduled.
Remember an incident where I was visiting my friend at the army open house and was in the same tonner( the affectionate term for the SAF truck which ferries soldiers around) with the visitors. We were stopped at this so called checkpoint and some clowns came out to run around ( yea, they call that a performance) and the guide was telling everyone that SAF is a always vigilant and alert force, however, on the other side of the road, at the 100m rifle range, an SAF unit was having their ATP and the soldiers who were not shooting were sleeping in every position possible. Across the floor, on the bench, you on me, me on you, you on me and I on him...so on and so forth. It was really embarrasing when someone actually pointed that out but I guess that is as real as the SAF can get.
Conclusion: I heard they got models from who have a good body, pay them an obscence amount of money to shoot the ad.
b. Ad: The Ads shows people rapelling down helicopters, shooting from tanks, playing with big guns and have a soldier show them a satisfied face.
Truth: The ads shows only the glam and fun aspect of soldiering. The sad truth is, you hardly fire anything other than blanks. You fire for one minute and you will be spending the weekend cleaning the weapon up and that s the real deal and does the ads feature the combat engineers where I belong to...NO!!why? because we are not glam, we do the dirty work, we carry the heavy stuff and hardly fire anything, in short, we are the bangla workers of the army. Anything about us in the ads would turn any boy with hopes of being a soldier off immediately. That is why so little is known about the combat engineers because we are not glamourous not the commandos or the armour troops.
Conclusion: Nobody wants to be an engineer.
Therefore, if you want the real deal, just look at the ad and think opposite.
2. Bang bang bang!
Has it ever occured to anyone that almost half the population have knowledge on weapons that could killed and maybe 30 to 40 per cent of that group have knowledge on more than 1 weapon. I myself learnt to use 7 weapons. All are lethal. Also, i have basic knowledge on the use of explosives, so if given the right materials, I could have easily blow up any place.
Does that make me dangerous?Does it make me wanting to get our hands on our weapons and go out to satisfy our wild side?The answer is a flat no. In fact, I really do not want to see those bloody weapons of mine, the longer I don't see it or touch it, the better.
Why so?
Of course when I shoot, I feel good because its fun. All the bang bang bang. But wat happens after that? The more I bang, the more clean, the more i clean, the more tiring i get, the more tiring i get, the more i rest, the more i rest, the less i clean, the less i clean, the dirtier it gets, the dirtier it gets, the more confinement i will get.
Moral of the story?See less, touch less, use less, bang less, clean less, confinement less.
I think that is the way the army make its soldier learn that the weapon should only be used when only when needed and not to play around with by making it the thorn in our flesh.
3. Training is dangerous, take good care.
The army have implemented many safety policies over the past year or so due to the tragic death of a guardsman due to the sadistic nature and an obvious lack of intellect of a few commandos( wats new?). However, i can assure you that training is still pretty dangerous and if care is not taken, then prepare to break something or for a funeral.
I learnt this thru an real encounter. Section live firing in OCS, using live rounds which could kill. The day shoot for my section went smoothly without glitches. We were thus relaxed and confident for the night shoot. I was to be next to my section mate Andrew, who would be on my left, who was carrying a SAW( the section automatic weapon) then. Just before the shoot, i saw him fiddling with his laser aiming device, the same as those u see in the movies. Didnt really give it much thought then and so, we went into the firing, ready to execute our firing movements and shoot down the targets. We moved in leap and bound, which means alternate lanes will move forward first while the others provide cover fire. So it was my turn to move forward, running to wards my next cover around 30m away, i was halfway there when i heard a bullet whizz past my left ear, maybe less than a mete away. Even though i was wearing earplugs, the whizzing was loud, which means it was really really close. My immediate reaction was to prone immediately and crawl to the cover. Just as i hit the ground, i saw a tracer round(one that burns when fired giving out light) whizz past above me, thru where i was standing a second ago. So, if i hadn't prone down just in time, i wouldn't be here writing to you guys now. So, I confronted andrew after that and asked him wat happened. He told me his laser aiming device ran out of batteries and he had to use his iron sight(the one we use in the day)to aim. I told him to f*ck off because he couldn't see shit at night and he actually didn't sound out his laser aiming device was faulty. I told him he nearly killed me and he said sorry i i told him to f*ck off again cause if he had killed me, 1million sorrys wouldn't be enough. That is just one of the many dangers that the army has to offer, I nearly fell off a cliff in brunei, i nearly got disfigured by my friend.
My advice for everyone is that take good care in the army, life is precious and injury is detrimental. Especially those who have yet to enlist or those still in service now, get a insurance, aviva is a good choice, just wait for that idoit to come down to talk again. You never know where the next bullet is going to come from.
4. zzzZZZ...
Once read on friendster the profile of this girl, and in the about me column it reads..."...sleeps anywhere"(pls don't think astray). I would imagine her anywhere means lying on some table in some aircon room or on the floor under a fan.
For me, i dun claim i can sleep anywhere but i did slept in some funny places and positions before. I slept on mud, in tall grass, on a tomb, while walking( yep managed to do that).
It shows that when the body is physically and mentally drained out, it doesn't matter where you are, you just want to hit the sack.
Sleep is scarced during training, especially during exercises. After a whole day of running around, firefighting and building bridges, you just want to hit the sack at night. But more often than not, you can't. You have to have night training, they say. So after more fire fighting or building bridges, at night, you can finally rest, but not before setting up comms line,comms path, sentry briefing etc. So by the time u can go to sleep, u are a mere 2 hrs away from waking up. But nvm, time is not to be wasted, u dun even look for a comfortable spot, so be it a mud patch, ant nest, barb wire, snakes, tall grass, rocks, or other funny things, u dun really care. U lay down close yr eyes and u r gone. U dream of home, of your girlfriend, of the kfc meal u wanna devour when u book out when suddenly u feel a boot on your torso.
Buddy:"Wake up leh!your turn to be sentry liao...1/2 hr shift"
You:"Huh?So fast ah?"
Checks your watch and u r 1 and 1/2 hours from daylight.
Make your way slowly to the sentry post and keep watch. There are no enemies to really look out for, so u start to doze off. Suddenly, you hear a sound and you wake up with a jolt, because if u are caught sleeping on sentry, theres hell to pay. But its a false alarm. However, u feep yrself awake for half an hr and when the shift ended, you head back to the harbouring area, to your spot of tall grass and rocks and just fall asleep.
Thats why army boys always seemed so sleepy and tired. So girls, if u r reading this, this is wat yr boyfriend goes thru in the army, week in week out. So if they r late or dun spend enough time with u, pls be understanding.
5. Bon appetit!
Food in the army is notorious for is bad taste and dirty contents. But soldiers being sodiers, are always hungry and will devour every single grain of rice on the plate. And food quality have improved since the days of the army cooks, when yr rice all looked like ketupat and the dishes all taste the same. Now, SAF pays professional caterers to provide food to its hungry soldiers. On some days, the food really look so delicious, u cannot believe u r in the army. Come thursday, theres even ice-cream on the menu, much to the delight of everyone.
However, one kind of food will never change. It has struck fear down the spine of many a brave soldiers and are always met with disgusted expression everytime it is opened or eaten. It is the infamous combat ration.
It comes in a green packet that is easy to tear open. The words on the outside promise so much to the hungry soldiers, with contents like green curry rice, yellow rice and the infamous braised duck rice. However,upon opening it u feel like throwing it all away but tell yrself u r hungry and u must eat for the energy. A bite is all it takes for the hunger pangs to go away, it is truly magic.
Thats why field camps is the best way to lose weight. No need to go any slimming agencies and pay a huge sum to lose 3 kg in a week. I lost 7 in 7 days. 1 per day.
Wat do we do to the unfinished food? We tried to feed them to the starving dogs and assume they would finish it for us, but wat dayya know, the starving dogs took a sniff and walked away from it, never to come back again. Thats how repulsive it is. So we took our entrenching tools and dig a hole to bury the food. I guess if u go to Pulau Tekong now and dig all over the place, you will find buried, unfinished, untouched combat rations buried all over the island.
However, there will be a time in the 2 yrs that no matter how repulsive the food is, u just have to eat it. Hunger prevails and u realised that food is very very precious.
Remember during beaver venture( sounds like a fun school camp but is actually hell on earth).
13 of us in the group and had just finished our shelter, a wooden structure that resembles a shack. We hadn't rested the whole day, we hadn't eaten either and we have not enough food. 13 of us laid inside the shelter and we decided to eat. We took out a packet of combat ration and shared it. Each of us taking a small portion at a time so that the rest could have a share. The food was cold and grubby but no matter how repulsive I used to think combat ration is, or how cold it was, wat i had that night was the bestest tasting food i ever had. I wished i could finished the whole thing but i cant because the rest needs to eat too. We were so hungry, we tore open the whole packet and licked the inside of it, not wasting a single drop of sauce. Yes, u may say eeyyeww, so disgusting but at that time we didn't really care, and that was how hungry we were. For once, combat rations became guarded possessions and treated with respect.
Wat i learnt thru this episode is that hunger is a bitter and cold enemy. Waste food and regret it in future when u badly need it.
6. The army promotes creativity
Alot of people says that once u wear green, u cannot think and u become stupid. I say that is rubbish because army really helps promote creativity.
How?
Well, just look at some of the names and cheers soldiers have came up with.
SISPEC-Suffer In Silence Plus Extra Confinement
..and their cheer...
With pride we lead, got food we eat, got time we sleep, got training we report sick...SISPEC!
OCS-Only Clowns Survive
...just to name a few...
and wat about the countless army songs soldiers have came up with, some too explicit to be written here.
Watever it may be, these creations takes a creative and obviously very bored mind to be created.
On a more serious note, many ideas are generated each year by soldiers. These ideas become wits projects and are showcaesd to everyone. But actually, soldiers are forced to think of such ideas. But it shows that creativity is not stifled by wearing green.
7. Diplomatic ties
Lets say u have 2 guys who r neighbours since they were born. In front of everyone, theyare good friends with the occasional conflict but nuthin too serious and everyone thinks that they are good neighbours. However deep down inside, they hate each other to the core and often scheme to sabotage and plan ways to attack the other at home.
Well, this is the story i learnt in the army, cant say who because i might get into trouble. but i guess u people already have a pretty good idea already. Everyday we r planning an attack into a certain land of a certain colour. They are always the aggressor and we are always the neutral party going to help another nation in need.
I cant really say much here because i dun wanna get into trouble so just bear in mind that friendship may just be a facade. The real deal goes on behind closed doors.
8. It takes alot of effort to maintain a relationship in the army
If u r in the army and have a girlfriend, my heart goes out to u because i know that u put in a lot of effort but still yr gf mightstill not understand in the end.
She never understand why u cannot call her early.
She never understand why u fall asleep when she told u to wait for her call.
She never understands why u are always late when meeting her on saturdays.
She never understands why u must speak so softly when talking to her at night.
She never understands what u mean by "I am tired".
I lost a relationship while serving the army. I tried hard but i guess hard was never good enough. Though the main reason why i broke up is not listed above, but they put the relationship on the rocks.
While u r digging your trench, you wonder if she had dinner yet and the spade hits your leg.
While u r eating your meals, you wonder if there is another guy n uni who wants to go after her and u choke on your rice.
While you are running, you wonder if she is alrite on the cycling trip she is on,whether she observe the safety rules and u fall into the drain.
While u are cleaning your bunk, u wonder if she will be having a good day today and think about how to spend the weekend with her and u turn on the fan while yr bunkmate is cleaning it.
Maybe its just me who does that but i dun believe so. I think lot of guys in the army with gf are also torn and in misery. It is definitely not easy, some will end u like me, breaking up during service, some will tahan till the end, but watever it is, dun let a breakup break u, be strong and move on.
9. Band of brothers
The most wonderful thing about the army is that it takes boys from different background and put them together and make them great friends at the end.
I have gone to many places in the army and made alot of friends. However, there will always be a guy who u share almost everything with. A guy u trust and rely on in times of difficulties. A guy u call your buddy. For me, my buddy is this loser called cher weiliang.
We became buddies in OCS and got stuck since. We ended up in engineers, in bridging, and ultimately in 35 SCE. Like all buddies, we shared a love hate relationship. Sometimes we just cant stand the look on each other's faces but when the other is missing, u begin to think of him. This may sound gay i know but i believe it happens to everyone. My buddy tried to kill me once and nearly broke my nose doing so. I always made fun of him and his sleeptalking. But when we needed someone to talk to, we were there for each other. Thru all the tough times and the silly things that we did, I am really grateful to him or one thing. He has kept a secret for me for a very long time and I thank him for that. Now I will come clean and maybe my conscience will feel better.
2 yrs ago, we were on a POI field camp, where we learnt how to protect key installations. The first night we were tasked to protect the ammo dump on tekong. It was roughly 1 am then, i was sitting next to my buddy near a drain, we were supposed to be on rest waiting for our next shift. We were happily chatting when the enemy came thru the darkness and eluded the guards and broke into our line. Both of us loaded our weapon and got ready for a firefight but by the time we were ready, we were already shot. Not that i cared really because it really means nuthin more than the plan wasn't good enough. So i proceeded to unload the weapon and clear it. It was dark and i cant really see wats in the chamber but complacency got the better of me and i just squeezed off and thats when it happened. A round was fired. Athough it was a blank the punishment for a negligent discharge or misfire is a charge of 21 days SOL(stoppages of leave) which means no booking out for 21 days and also restriction of privileges. Then, i was still attached and saturdays meant meeting up with my girlfriend and was of utmost importance to, me and so when my instructor came over and asked me if I had misfired, i lied and said no, and the noise came from the firefight somewhere else. The instructor looked doubtful but gave me the benefit of the doubt, which i didnt deserved. My buddy who was beside me looked in shock how i lied my way out of trouble. I made him promise to keep this a secret and he has. The ironic thing is that the following day, he misfired too and was caught red handed. As his punishment was meted out, he looked at me and gave me a knowing look but i was too guilty to look at him. Since then , this issue had bothered me from time to time and conscience wise, i felt that i was a real a**, until now.
So if u have a buddy like mine, pls don't screw it up. I really hope our friendship can go a long way. Really glad i have a buddy like u cher!
I guess that's all I have for today. Watever happened in the army is kinda over now, but still the experiences it gave me and the lessons it taught will never be over. Well, Check out this space next week for chapter 3 of 'tuesdays with Haoz'
posted by haoz @ 4/19/2005 08:12:00 AM
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